3 Questions You Need to Ask Before You Call a Relationship Quits (Read Time: 3 min.)

Any relationship has its ups and downs, its highs and lows but what do you do when you exist in a relationship that neither ebbs or flows, that feels stuck, stagnant and without life? 

What do you do when you're so tired of being stuck that you'd rather end the relationship than give it one final try?

How do you set the boundary that involves saying goodbye when a part of you feels like you didn't give this relationship your all?

Ending a relationship is a HUGE boundary to establish.  Most people don't think of it as a boundary but think again.  When you end a relationship (whether it's a friendship, quit a job, get a divorce, or stop speaking to a family member), you are setting a clear and rather permanent boundary. 

The key to establishing this boundary is doing it in a healthy way... and most people don't.  Most people set this boundary in unhealthy ways, like:

• breaking up with someone via text message
• quitting a job same day without giving two weeks notice
• blasting a friend on facebook or twitter and then unfollowing/blocking them so they don't have the ability to respond
• having an affair or overworking or creating emotional distance as a way of pushing the other person out of the relationship/marriage
• talking badly behind a family member's back but smiling in their face until one day they find out the truth and the whole thing blows up over Thanksgiving dinner

I could go on and on but you get the drift.  None of the above-mentioned ways are mature, compassionate, or healthy... and yet we resort to these tactics because most of us lack the courage and confidence to set this kind of boundary once and for all.

So before you call any relationship quits, here are three questions you need to ask yourself that will help you determine if you're REALLY ready to have this boundary conversation:

1. What am I not giving to this relationship?  
2. How have I demonstrated and given what I'm asking for in this relationship?
3. What else could my feelings about this relationship mean?

 Over the next three days, I'll go in depth on each of the three questions.