How have I demonstrated and given what I'm asking for in this relationship? (Read Time: 3 min.)

How have I demonstrated and given what I'm asking for in this relationship?

Question #2 is HUGE, BIG and it's the one question few people like to answer first.  When you're in the middle of blaming the other person for everything that's wrong with the relationship, the last thing you want to do is stop and ask "What role am I playing in all of this melodrama?"  but here's the deal: it takes two to tango.  

We attract who we are at the moment.

There's no disputing that.  You can believe whatever you want but ignoring the facts doesn't change the facts.  In life, we get what we give EVERY time and no where is that more true than in relationships.  Before you can have the enchanted love you want, you've got to be the giver of enchanted love.

So let's take a dive into ourselves and find out what we want as compared to what we're giving.

Pull out a sheet of paper and write down your answers to these four questions: 

 

1. What are the top five qualities you NEED in a partner?

2. When was the last time you exhibited these qualities on a CONSISTENT basis?

3. When you think of an enchanted love, what three experiences would that love involve?

4. When was the last time you initiated any experiences similar to that in your current relationship?

See, here's the truth: you have not because you give not.  And maybe you aren't giving because you feel underappreciated.  Maybe you're withholding love because you're so stressed out about life that you simply aren't focusing on what seems like a "small" thing.  Maybe you aren't feeling so enchanted because you packed on twenty pounds or you lost your job or the last time you gave your heart it got stomped on.  I don't know the reasons why you're choosing to show up as less than what you say you want but I do know one thing: to have what you want, you must first BE it.

Take three steps today to exhibit the level of love, enchantment and passion that you say you want in your relationship.  Don't worry about whether this person is the right person for you.  Once you start giving what you are open to receiving, the truth of this relationship will become very clear and either this person will step up, step aside or you will step down.  You don't have to fight or make that happen.  When you fully show up for relationships, what's meant to be naturally occurs.

Let's talk tomorrow about Question #3!

Kassandra