One Healthy Boundary Rule MOST Parents Don't Teach Their Children (Read Time: 2 min.)

Growing up, my parents taught me alot of things.  They taught me to work hard for what I want, to dream big, to get an education, to play in mud (mom) or to not play in mud and get my dress dirty (dad) and so many other things that my memory can no longer recall.  One of the key underpinnings of all of these "lessons" lay in the concept of being "good", i.e. appropriate and socially acceptable. 

As a parent, I watch my 14, 7 and 5 year old and notice how strikingly different their generation is from mine.  Burps without putting their mouths over their hands, farts at the dinner table, asking for a personal website at 5 (yes, 5) and so many other things that had I done that at their age, would've seemed completely out of line.

The consciousness of the world is changing.  Now I still tell my children "Cover your mouth when you burp" and I still say "Don't fart at the table" but the other thing I tell them (that my parents never told me and that most parents still don't tell their kids) is one of the most important healthy boundary rules you can know:

You are free to say yes or no to anyone or anything. 

Don Miguel Ruiz, in 'The Four Agreements', said it best when he talked about the third Agreement (Don't Make Assumptions):

"Also, find your voice to ask for what you want. 

Everybody has the right to tell you no or yes, but you always have the right to ask."

When was the last time you told your children

that they have a voice and can say yes or no at will? 

Have that conversation tonight...