Budgeting and Boundaries: Can You Draw a Line in the Sand? (Read Time 3 min.)

How do you feel about budgeting?  

If you're talking to a banker or an accountant, you'll probably get a thumbs up.  If you're talking to someone who's afraid of money, doesn't know how to manage money, or seems to always be without money, you'll probably get a wince, a head down or a deer-in-headlights stare.  The reality is this:

Either you are managing your money 

or your money is managing you.  

So we have to talk about budgeting and financial boundaries because the two are intricately connected.

A budget is a way of using financial boundaries to design your sense of security, safety, and wealth throughout life.  It's the vehicle through which you decide how comfortable you live, what you buy, where you shop, and to what extent you feel provided for.  The best part of a budget is the fact that you get to create it. 

What keeps most people from using budgets is the fear that comes with facing the current, present moment reality of your financial life today.  It's one thing to know that you don't make enough money.  It's quite another to see just how much less you make than what you need in dollars and cents.  People fear knowing the truth because they get caught up in the temporary circumstance of their financial situation.  Remember: Like Facebook, your financial status is going to change but you have to be the one to change it.  There is no Instafinance app in your life that's going to upgrade your salary or benefits or wealth level on its own.  You've got to do that.

So how do you do it?

Use financial boundaries to help you re-frame how you see budgeting so you actually budget AND stick to it.  

I'm not going to use this space to tell you how to budget.  I'll leave all the forms and the instructions to the pros like Dave Ramsey.  What I do want to give you is a series of steps you can use to deprogram that negative, icky feeling in the pit of your stomach that comes every time you even think about getting real with your finances.

Okay... so here are three financial boundaries you can set that will help you discipline yourself to budget:

1) At all times, I know my numbers.  At all times, decide that you know what's in the bank, what's in your gross paycheck, how it's being spent, and how you'll spend it.  Say to yourself: I have to know what's missing so I can create ways to meet that need.  See a budget as a way of getting to the bottom of what you have, what you need, and how you can meet those needs in the next 6-12 months.  Look at your budget like it's  a piece to the puzzle of your financial goals.  You need that piece to finish that puzzle.  When you start to see a budget as an ally (rather than enemy), you make peace and get on the same page with it.
2) Pleasure is a part of EVERY budget.  This is a well kept secret to budgeting that lots of people don't talk about.  One of the reasons people hate budgeting is because it offers no immediate incentive.  When you're making less than you owe, you tend to go into a feast or famine frame of mind: either you starve your life in your budget to pay bills or you spend overboard to compensate for all the previous budgets where you starved yourself of any sort of life enjoyment or satisfaction.  I love Dave Ramsey but I'm not down with totally living on beans and rice for 3 or more years.  At the end of the day, you have to find ways to enjoy your life NOW.  When you include a SMALL portion of your budget and label it as "Pleasure", you wind up feeling abundant, cared for and you're better able to deal with the tightness and allocation of the rest of it.  Bottom line: You have to enjoy each pay check at least a little bit.

3) I keep my big 3 financial goals in front of me at every single budgeting session and brainstorm ways to get to those goals faster through each individual budget.  It's said that people perish for a lack of vision.  It's not enough to pay the bills this month.  There's nothing about "just getting by" that's going to keep you motivated to continue budgeting for the long haul.  I get that people say it's powerful to know where your money is going and telling your money what to do through a budget but you know what?  Having to send your money to bills ALL THE TIME sucks and there's nothing powerful in that.  Instead of looking at your budget as a way to pay bills and live broke, write out your 3 big financial goals/dreams on a sheet of paper before you begin the budgeting process.  As you decide what each line item's going to be, ask yourself: "How can I use this to get to one of these financial goals faster?"  It's about getting to the WHY of budgeting rather than staying stuck in the what.  You attach a WHY to living on beans and rice and you'll get into it, stay consistent with it and get through it much faster.

What's my point in all of this?

Use financial boundaries as a way to help you develop the self-discipline to start budgeting and stay budgeting.  Speaking of which, tonight's a budgeting night for me and I'm going to use all three tips to get my financial party started:)